How i do therapy:
Perhaps you’re noticing unhealthy patterns in your relationships, at work, or with family.
Maybe you’ve been struggling recently, or for a long time.
Maybe something big is changing in your life, and you’re having trouble adjusting.
Maybe you’re just finally ready to try something different.
Whatever your reasons for coming to therapy, I will meet all parts of you with respect and non-judgment.
client-centered and collaborative
I see therapy as a journey we are on together. I meet clients where they’re at, and help them trust their own needs and experience. I recognize there is power in the therapist’s role and I strive to hold it gently and mindfully.
I may have training and experience, but you are the expert on you.
Therapy has a reputation of being very “left brain” oriented; you come to therapy to generate new thoughts and new ideas, to get advice, to have insights. That’s what were paying for…right?
But that approach to therapy leaves out an important and powerful part of ourselves; the part that feels.
We come to therapy not only to get to know ourselves but because we want to feel different: less depressed or anxious, less afraid; perhaps more confident and safe. But if we want to change the way we feel, we have to deeply connect to the parts of us that feel in the first place. We do that in therapy by stopping and noticing feelings as we experience them, in the moment. Getting outside the narrative and attending directly to our felt experience in this way helps us learn from and transform it; creating new neurological connections in the brain which can move us toward healing and experiencing life differently, from the bottom up.
One important way to do this is through our bodies. The mind and body are inseparable; thoughts, emotions, body functions, sensations, movements, nerves, and biochemicals are all interconnected in an endless feedback loop.
This is why we often describe strong emotions like anxiety in terms of sensation; “I had butterflies in my stomach,” or “he felt shaky.”
But your body is not just a barometer of our mental health. It is also a tool we can use to feel better.
Somatic therapy uses body awareness, movement, and other techniques to calm your nervous system, stop dissociation, deepen an emotional experience, process trauma, deal with chronic pain, increase self care, improve communication with others, set boundaries, and handle challenging situations more effectively.
I love working somatically. It is both powerful and gentle, a tool that clients can start using right away to change how they experience their lives.
social justice oriented
My therapy practice is informed by the values of social justice and anti-oppression activism. These are not just abstract political concepts to me; they deeply influence who I am and how I see the world. My own experiences with marginalization have taught me how important it is to approach my clients with equity, honesty, non-judgment, and cultural humility. I engage in ongoing training to increase my competence with a diversity of clients and cultures.
My identities are white, Jewish, queer, trans/non-binary, and a member of the fat-liberation and disability-justice communities.
examples of ISSUES I CAN HELP WITH:
sex & intimacy
non-monogamy and polyamory
kink & bdsm
trust and emotional intimacy
trauma in relationships
class, ethnicity, culture, gender, sexuality, or racial differences
preparing for moving in together, marriage, or parenting
different attachment styles
breakups & conscious uncoupling
trauma/complex trauma and PTSD
substance use or abuse (esp. opioids)
trouble maintaining relationships
difficulties with school or work
grief and loss
chronic illness & disability
sexual assault and consent issues
HOW I do couples/relationshiP therapy:
I use something called Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), which fits well with the other approaches described on this page.
EFT helps members of a relationship see and understand the recurring cycle that defines their conflicts. Each person is taught to take individual responsibility for their own part of the cycle by learning to manage emotional activation, communicate their own feelings and needs honestly yet lovingly, and acknowledge those of the other person(s) even when they might be different or opposing.
I work best with couples, partners, and families who are looking for a gentle, attuned, trauma-sensitive approach to help them slow down, stay in contact with themselves and each other, and learn new ways of relating around conflict.
If your partner or family member has assaulted you (or you them) or you feel physically unsafe around them, you may need a higher level of intervention than I can provide. I want you to get the help you need. Please contact CUAV (LGBTQ focused) or The Hotline, or dial 211 from any phone for a confidential referral to someone who can help you.